I am a 29-year-old filmmaker and refugee from Lebanon living in the UK. My claim to asylum is based on my sexuality and my HIV status. I grew up in Beirut and lived part of my life there but now I live in London, my dream city. At the age of 6-7 I started to have feelings towards men. I remember while I was watching TV, every time I saw a couple kissing, I felt that I wanted to kiss the man. I thought that I might be the only one in the world who experienced attraction to the same sex, and I was afraid to even speak about it. During my early teenage years, I loved Duncan James from Blue. I bought a lot of his posters and sometimes bought magazines just because he was in them. I wished that he was gay.