Last year in this space, I predicted that with dark political forces emerging in the United States and Britain, Justin Trudeau would rise as a global leader on LGBT rights. As I sit today looking at Trudeau’s baby blues and spread legs on the cover of the UK’s Attitude magazine, which has proclaimed him “Arguably the world’s most pro-LGBT political leader,” I feel an overwhelming responsibility to use my obvious predictive powers for good. Therefore, looking ahead to 2018, I see the Democrats sweeping the midterms, following which Donald Trump and Mike Pence will immediately perish of an incurable and painful diarrhetic fever, leaving Nancy Pelosi to be sworn in as the 46th president of the United States. I further predict that Marvel Studios will cast me as Wolverine in the next X-Men movie, Chris Hemsworth will ask me to marry him, and Sam Smith will retire from music and social media for all time.
December 27 / Daily Xtra